


The Silence Between Us

by Ashe21



Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: Angst, Boring, First Person Point of View, M/M, One-Shot, just an idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 20:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14678756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashe21/pseuds/Ashe21
Summary: Toru-san and I.. our story is a bitcomplicated.No one really knows the truths and what really happened...





	The Silence Between Us

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  A possible reality.  
> 

  
  
I don’t really know when it started, it just happened gradually. 

Toru-san and I.. our story is a bit _complicated._ No one really knows the truth or what really happened.. not even Tomoya. I don’t know about Ryota though, he’s _super close_ with that gachapin. 

We first met a thousand years ago, I am exaggerating of course. It’s just.. a long time ago. I barely even remember all the details, I do remember his eyes though. I could never forget the way he looked at me as I was singing on stage of that dark live house. It was dark, yes. And it’s true that I was singing while looking at the ground but I felt it, I felt his stares. It never left me the whole time I was performing. 

Sorry to burst the bubble of fujoshis out there but, the look Toru-san gave me wasn’t awe, admiration or _lust._ (Because that’s what others say/fantasize about)

It was.. _desperation._

He was a normal, bored teenager who found me through a mutual friend. 

I don’t know about Toru-san but at that time I _was_ straight. Or at least, I think I was. But the point is it didn’t cross my mind that _”him stalking me in my part time job at the restaurant”_ sounds like a perfect plot for a yaoi story. 

At first I thought he’s stoned, you know, classic Toru-san with his bored yet scary looking eyes, stalking me at the restaurant, persistently insisting that I join his newly formed band. Who wouldn’t think that he’s stoned? 

Maybe he was? I don’t know. I’ll tell you one truth though, I was not sober when I first agreed to watch them rehearse at the studio. 

*

I started questioning Toru-san’s.. _preferences_ after a few years, during the Alex incident. I was devastated, confused, lonely, everything came crashing down. But he was there. Toru-san was beside me the whole time. He was the mighty leader that put my broken pieces back together. Just like how he made me whole by creating this band and persuading me to join. 

The efforts he made in order for me to not let go of my sanity were drastic. He would lay beside me every night, hold me tight, whisper soothing promises.. I felt his care. I felt loved. 

I really didn’t care if Toru-san was gay or homo or what, and I didn’t know if I was the one who’s gay or what. It doesn’t matter anyway, _at least for me._ All I knew back then was I wanted him for my own. I got used to the solace he oh so generously gave to me. I got used to his body lying beside me every night, his warmth enveloping my shivering form as he hugs me tight when I cry. I got so used to it all that I became possessive. It got to the point where I get jealous of anyone who’s close to him, even Ryota.

You can call me young and naïve because I truly was back then. **But** you didn’t feel it, Toru-san’s love. So you wouldn’t understand how I felt. 

You see, before he found me I was feeling worthless, empty, almost like a _fallen angel_ who’s waiting to be sent to hell. But he made me feel like I was important, like I mattered, like I had something that he couldn’t live without. And for that I felt _spared._ Like life has given me another chance.. **Toru-san gave me a purpose.**

**He became my world.**  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
I found Taka in one of the many live houses that I went to. He was recommended by a friend. 

I remember during those times I was so hyped on starting a band. I wanted to be the vocalist but I know my voice was not _”vocalist material.”_ So when I saw Taka singing on that stage while looking down at his shoes.. I immediately knew.

I recognized who he was. 

His scandal over the previous years were all over the news. He’s a Moriuchi. 

I knew his background.. or at least.. what the tabloids said about him. 

In that second as I listened to his unbelievable voice, a thought lingered in my mind. 

He could be the one. 

No, Fujoshis, it’s not what you think. I didn’t fall in love with him or anything. **Homo janai.**

I thought that with his high profile background, his past experiences, his _name_ and his voice.. he could be the perfect front man. No, he **IS** the perfect front man. There could be nobody else but him. 

The shame in his face, the embarrassment and lack of life in his body language.. he’s _perfect._ A voice so powerful shouldn’t be exposed with his kind of vulnerability for all the maniacs (like me who could take advantage of him) to see. Too bad for him because my desperation took over my guilt. So without even a second of contemplating, I have decided. 

It’s twisted, I know. But I was desperate—maybe even gone mad. And so I began the famous stalking. 

But let me tell you that midget is a tough one. I was coming to his part time job everyday but he wouldn’t budge. He really didn’t want anything to do with me but I guess he got tired of serving me water in all the time that I spent in the restaurant so he finally gave in.

But my efforts didn’t stop there. Taka was a mess when I found him. That’s what made me think that he’ll be the perfect vocalist. Legendary bands are always made with legendary front men with tragic history or some kind of big struggle that they overcame in their life. And so I did everything that I could to piece him back together, from the very beginning I indirectly taught—forced him to believe in his capabilities, that alone was not easy. Taka was easily distressed, he’s overthinking and emotional. So it took a while for him to gain the confidence of a true front man. 

But as you may know he eventually did. 

He became very close to me as time went by. I started noticing that he became dependent to my cuddles and my support. I wouldn’t blame him though, because I loved him from the start. I know at first it started out as a twisted manipulation to form the band that I dreamed of having, but I didn’t realize that as time goes by, I _grew_ to love him so deeply that he became very possessive. 

I didn’t mind it though, I actually kind of liked it. I like how he’ll get jealous when I go on dates with random girls, or when Ryota knows more about me than him. 

I thought everything was going well for me. 

The band was starting to grow. But as we were slowly reaching for our dreams.. _other things_ started to change. As the band gained more audiences, the band became more popular. Suddenly our dream of making music abroad came true. Then we knew more people, then more people knew us. Then we made lots of new acquaintances.. and then Taka…

Taka is shining so bright. 

Finally standing on his own. 

Achieving, reaching, making all his dreams come true. 

But why do I feel so.. angry? 

I hate how many people can see how perfect he is. I hate how everyone is friends with him now. I hate how a few years ago the two of us have the same ideas, the same perspective but now we are completely different. I hate how a few years ago he couldn’t even go three days without me but now, he barely even calls me, I only get to see him during rehearsals. 

_Why do I feel so used when I was the one who thought of using him in the first place?_

What is with this twisted reverie? 

I am losing my mind.. 

But more importantly,

**I am losing Taka to the world.**  
  


**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Thank you for reading! Tell me what you think! BTW this is purely fictional. I'm 90% sure that Toru-san didn't think this when he first recruited Taka in real life. But well, actually, I'm not sure, we can never really know, right? XD  
> 


End file.
